Tag Archives: anger

Fight the Night Away

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Ephesians 4:26, 27
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
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Early in my marriage I was told this passage means my wife and I should never go to bed angry with each other. Doing so would allow the anger to “ferment” into bitterness (and give the devil a foothold in our lives). We sure didn’t want to do that so we stayed up many nights fussing and squabbling till we were both exhausted and couldn’t even remember what we were so mad about – but we were still mad and the sun had gone down (and sometimes was ready to come up again).

Eventually I decided that couldn’t possibly be what that passage was saying – mainly because staying up till we resolved the problem was turning out to be stupid advice. We usually didn’t come to any resolution, it got worse as the night dragged on and now we were going to be tired and cranky the next day also.  I didn’t know what that passage meant but I knew it couldn’t mean “fight the night away”.

I am embarrassed to say we were thirty years into our marriage before I realized the simple truth this passage was conveying. I can’t stop the sun from going down and I discovered I couldn’t always resolve the differences with my wife before it did go down but I could do one thing – I could forgive, forget it and move on before the sun went down.

After all, forgiveness, like love, is a decision, not a feeling. I could decide to forgive, drop the matter and move on. I didn’t have to find the magical, mysterious solution to our disagreement. I didn’t have to help my wife realize how right I was and how far off base she was.  I didn’t have to restore any “warm fuzzy” feelings. I just had to decide I was not going to carry this anger with me into the night. If need be, we could return to the issue the next day, after some sleep and perhaps with a fresh perspective and insight. As a wise eight year old girl put it when she was asked the secret to happiness, “Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it.”

So don’t let the sun go down while you are still fuming. Forgive, take a nap and get over it. Tomorrow will be a new day.
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James 1:19, 20 (NIV)
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

 

Never confuse anger for anointing

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Philippians 3:18, 19
For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, …

Many years ago I went to a meeting for pastors sponsored by a successful evangelist who was coming to our town. As a young pastor I was impressed by his fiery presentation. Afterwards I commented to an older pastor who was mentoring me that this preacher had a powerful “anointing”. His response was gentle and kind but straightforward, “Never confuse anger with anointing.”

Just a few years later this evangelist had an encounter with God that changed his life and resulted in him confessing some hidden sins, “While preaching from the pulpit I would be battling lust and anger.” His ministry also changed. There was still power but now there was also compassion.

We see that same attitude in Paul when he speaks of those whose “destiny is destruction”. He has no anxious expectation for justice or vengeance on the wicked. Like Jesus, he did speak mercilessly against the self-righteous but for the wicked there were only tears. It causes me to examine my attitude toward those who “live as enemies of the cross”. I may not be filled with anger but apathy is no better. Neither produce tears.

Lord, give me your heart (and eyes of tears) for those going away from You.
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But what of David who asked God to “break the teeth of the wicked” or even the Lord who “laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming.” (Psalm 37:13) Contradiction? Did Paul not have a proper attitude or did God change from OT to NT? I’ll save that for the next post.