I met a fellow who told me he wanted to help troubled marriages. That’s noble. When I found out he was not married I asked what he thought he had to offer couples who were going through marital problems.
“Oh,” he said, “I understand pretty much everything there is to know about marriage problems. I’ve been divorced five times.”
Yes, he was serious. I agree that, after five divorces, he probably knows a lot about marriage problems but struggling couples need someone who knows a lot about marriage solutions.
He was well-meaning but extremely naive. All of us have areas where we’re naive. That’s OK. What is not OK and what can get us into trouble is when, like my friend, we don’t think we are naive. In fact, we may think we are pretty informed and wise. That is a sure path to pain.
Joel and I had a conversation about how to recognize if we are naïve and how to avoid falling for the traps of naivete. Here are some of the highlights:
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- We are all limited in our knowledge. And, you don’t know what you don’t know. It is hard to say and even harder to remember but, “I might be wrong” is a great phrase to repeat often.
- Wisdom recognizes patterns. The naïve don’t pay attention to patterns.
- The only way to avoid naivete is to be a continual learner.
- There are two ways to learn in life:
1) Learning from our own mistakes.
2) Learning from the mistakes of others.
Learning from the mistakes of others is a lot less painful! - For most of us, our default tendency is to trust other people. That is natural and healthy but, because we default to trust, we are prone to being naïve and deceived.
- As followers of Christ, we have the Holy Spirit who was given to “guide us into all truth.”(John 16:13) In a world of deception and confusion, we have to learn to listen to the still, small voice of God within us who will help us avoid blindly trusting everything (being naïve) and instead lead us to humble wisdom.
I hope that helps you “give thought to your steps.”
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Proverbs 14:15
The naïve believe everything, but the prudent give thought to their steps.
Photo by Lucrezia Carnelos on Unsplash